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🕵️ THE SINGLE FILES

An official investigation by the Global Bureau of Celibacy

Build a TOP SECRET dossier on anybody's dating history — then send it to your crush.

A playful, interactive web dossier written in Nigerian Pidgin.

status built with license

Wetin be this? (What is this?)

The Single Files is a tongue-in-cheek "case file" that investigates whether someone is chronically single. The Global Bureau of Celibacy (a fictional agency) opens a dossier, reviews the subject's life across five chapters, runs them through tests, and issues an official verdict.

The twist: you fill in a name and schools, and it generates a personalized shareable link. Send it to your crush, your padi, or your ever-single friend — they open their own custom dossier. That is the fun.

The whole thing is written in Nigerian Pidgin, which is a big part of the charm.

Features

  • 📂 Personalized dossiers — enter a name + schools, get a custom shareable link
  • 🔍 Five investigation chapters — from "How E Take Start" (childhood) to the "Final Verdict"
  • 🤖 The Dodging Machine — an interactive terminal that simulates how the subject dodges love
  • 🧪 The Test Room — flirt-scenario simulator with branching outcomes
  • 📟 Lie-detector (polygraph) — scan for secret exes and hidden crushes
  • 🖋️ Official stamp & seal — certify the case as an investigator
  • 📱 Fully responsive + printable certificate
  • 🔗 Auto-shortened share links and one-tap social sharing

Run it locally

No build step, no dependencies — it's plain HTML, CSS, and JavaScript.

git clone https://github.com/<your-username>/the-single-files.git
cd the-single-files

# Then just open index.html, or serve it locally:
python3 -m http.server 8000
# visit http://localhost:8000

A local server is recommended over opening the file directly, so the share-link and font features behave correctly.

Deploy it

It's fully static, so it drops onto any static host:

  • GitHub Pages — push and enable Pages on the main branch
  • Netlify / Vercel / Cloudflare Pages — point at the repo, no build command needed

Before you post it publicly

Open index.html and replace the two placeholder URLs in the <head> with your live domain, so social previews work:

<meta property="og:url"   content="https://your-domain.example/">
<meta property="og:image" content="https://your-domain.example/og-image.png">
<meta name="twitter:image" content="https://your-domain.example/og-image.png">

Project structure

├── index.html      # The full dossier markup
├── styles.css      # Design system (gold / purple / seal-red on dark)
├── app.js          # All interactivity, sharing, and dynamic text
├── favicon.svg     # The GBC seal
├── og-image.png    # 1200×630 social preview card
└── og-card.html    # Source used to render og-image.png

Contributing

PRs welcome — especially new chapters, funnier Pidgin lines, and new test scenarios. Open an issue with your idea first if it's a big one.

License

MIT © 2026 Japheth Adamu. Fork it, remix it, make your own bureau.

Built for laughs. If the Bureau certifies you single, na you sabi. 🫡